Birthday Party Games Lady Blog

The ‘New Economy’ has gotten you to figure out how much a Starbuck’s a day adds to your expenses. It’s time to do the same kind of accounting for the next kids’ birthday party at your house.

During our decade of extravagance, we’ve gotten used to doing all sorts of things in extravagant and unnecessary ways- like those expensive coffees. And the retail world has certainly encouraged us. And just like one little cup of coffee impacts our budgets, so do all the little items we’ve come to think are essential to a successful kids birthday party. They’re not essential, many aren’t even important, and all can be done cheaply and easily.

Where is it written that a birthday party invitation has to be a quarterfold 5×4” card? That costs maybe $10 to purchase readymade? This is just one of those things the retailers, in this case the invitation purveyors, have made us think is necessary. Kids, on the other hand, prefer things that are big. Look at their drawings and other art work that they create; they’re rarely small. Which means that a full page invitation from your computer in a business sized envelope will work just fine with this audience. So you can create your own invitation, completely custom tailored to your party, easily and without owning any card creation software that spits out those quarterfold cards.

And it’s easy to do. Clip art is readily available on the web, and your Microsoft Word program gives you access to their online clip art library as well. Word also lets you play with your fonts and your colors to create an attractive and exciting invitation for your party. Word will also let you format to print on your envelope, eliminating the time consuming task of hand addressing everything. Add more (or the same) clip art to your envelope, and your invitation is enticing even before it’s opened!

With just these tools your invitation will be as unique as your party and as special as your child, at almost zero expense. If you want to get some ideas about how to tailor your invitation to your party’s theme, and create that excitement about your child’s party, take a look at any of the invitations at the Birthday Party Games Lady website- there are pictures of each on the individual party pages.

Customers routinely report a huge level of anticipation created by these invitations. That anticipation and excitement is stimulated by the challenge each one presents to the guests. Here’s what I mean: instead of “Come to our Pirate Party”, your invitation could say “Come Swashbuckle with Us and Show us your Stuff!” You needn’t be a creative genius to come up with this stuff.

I don’t, however, recommend saving your pennies by sending email invitations. First of all, the younger the kids the less likely they are to be tuned in to email yet. But more importantly, kids don’t know that most everything we parents get in the mail is somebody’s request for payment, and they want to get mail just like we do. Old fashioned, yes, but it’s the truth. So let them get your invitation in the mail and have something in hand to show their folks and feel good about.

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It’s hard to keep pace with the changes as our kids grow up. And annual events like their birthday party can be particularly challenging: old habits die hard. What worked and was important when they were 4 isn’t really what’s going to work when they’re 6 or 8.

Pre-schoolers don’t really yet know the ropes and often depend on situational cues to know what to do. So- those party hats and noise makers help them to act appropriately at a birthday party and get them on the road to having fun. But by the time they’re in 2nd grade or so, they no longer need these cues: they’re old hands at birthday parties. So- you don’t need to spend your money on this stuff any more. Save it for what’s important.

And what’s important to the fun of a birthday party is the experience. Experience is an active word. Absorbing the surroundings like decorations and a pretty birthday table is passive. We all know that kids are all about active, not passive.

It’s your games and activities that create the birthday experience, so these should always be the focus of your party planning and your party expense.

Recognize that your elementary school child may not really know what kind of ‘experience’ they want for their birthday party. Just due to their youth, you may hear “I want a (fill in the blank) birthday party this year- either because they just went to a (fill in the blank) party and had fun, or that’s what they’re into this week, or they can’t think of anything else to tell you. In all likelihood, your child is really looking to you to come up with the good ideas that make the party fun, so don’t just accept what you hear from them. Remember how many times you’ve heard “I don’t want to” and then they had a blast doing whatever it was? Birthday parties are no exception.

The word ‘experience’ also connotes something out of the ordinary, not the same as every day. Without denying the importance of play for our kids, it’s not an experience worthy of a celebration. They need your guidance and planned activities to have an ‘experience’.

But it doesn’t take all that much, and certainly not more than you can provide, to give elementary school age kids a fun birthday party experience. One of the best tricks to doing this is activities that require them to use those brains! Or have them do a familiar thing in a new way. Challenge them- to create something, to solve something, to work together on something. You can get ideas about how this can be done, or grab your whole party, with any of the Birthday Party Games Lady party packages.

To just pick one example, see how the Harry Potter party games take old, familiar games and makes them new and challenging, creating a venue where the kids’ imaginations can let them ‘be’ Harry Potter for a few hours and come away with a real birthday party experience.

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I have very few decent pictures of my kids’ birthday parties. I’m camera challenged and never planned it out right to get enough photos so that at least some of them would be good for memories. It’s too late for me. BUT NOT FOR YOU!

A professional photographer from down under has written a wonderful blog post full of tips for taking great birthday party pictures. The idea I like the most is designating a photographer- someone with no real party duties other than to shoot a ton of pictures. That way- you’re bound to get a good number of wonderful photos. There are lots of other great tips about where to shoot from, angles and other technical tips, but none overly technical. If you want good party photos, take a read.

And while you’ve got the camera, and hopefully the designated photographer, put it all to use toward your party favor. Kids love pictures of themselves, especially candid shots, and they make a great take home. Far better than the usual ‘goody bag’. When the shots are taken, enlist another parent or older sibling to print out the best one of each child at the party on glossy photo paper, slip them in to your pre-made paper frames, and they’ll be ready by the end of the party.

You’ll find a downloadable paper frame in the Birthday Favors section on the Birthday Party Games Lady website.

And if these party photography tips give you enough good pictures, make a memory book from them to commemorate the celebration.

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Every parent wants their childs’ birthday party to really make their child feel special- because they are! We often go to great lengths to achieve this outcome, spending either too much time or too much money, or both. But it’s out of love. For those with just as much love but without the time or the creative muse to pull it off, Birthday Party Games Lady party packages exist to offer the same terrific kids birthday party experience that make your child as special as they can be on their special day.

I just read about an incredible party for a three year old at Secret Agent Josephine’s blog. For a 3 year old girl who loves green, mom put on the great big green puppet show birthday party, and from the picture it was a hit with all and the birthday girl was thrilled. I certainly applaud her mom’s creativity, but I have a question to pose to all parents who might be considering a party effort of this magnitude.

Expectations can be a very difficult thing to manage in our children. What if next year, when there’s a new baby in the house or reduced financial circumstances, you can’t pull it off? Then, how do you manage their diminished feelings? How do you assure them you love them just as much as last year? At 4, that’s tough. By the time they’re 16- whatever can you do top what’s gone before?

If you’ve got the creativity and resources to manage these expectations over the years- great. Go for it. But do a reality check before you lock yourself in to an avoidable and unnecessary spiral that might become difficult to control.

Pre-school kids are easily thrilled. They have little to compare with their own experiences, and so are relatively easily satisfied. This is one of the main reasons that Birthday Party Games Lady party packages are designed for school age kids- they have higher expectations for us parents to meet, so assistance in putting the party together is of greater benefit.

Whichever side of this fence you might sit on, the green puppet show mom has some terrific ideas you might use. Keying your pre-school party to a favorite color is a great alternative to paying premium prices for character paper goods and decorations- plain is always cheaper. Paper bag puppets for a craft project is inexpensive and does indeed allow the kids’ innate creativity to play out. I really love her all green food idea, but sadly this doesn’t work too well if your color scheme is blue.

The idea of posting the food list up on the frig, to remind yourself and any helpers, is inspired. This could easily be expanded beyond food to a true schedule of activities with needed items and their locations available to your helpers as well. Helps your helpers to actually be helpful!

So, kudos to the green puppet show mom!! Parents- be inspired. Just don’t get yourself in a trap that will make things harder next year.

And for birthday party ideas that are substantially more manageable for busy parents, Birthday Party Games Lady has 5 great parties for age 6 to teen.

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I have always advocated that parents’ and their birthday child consider turning the birthday party present tradition into charitable gifts for those in need. To help with charitable birthday gift ideas for kids, I even created my Good Gift Pool to make it easy.

But the very idea of asking your excited birthday child to give up all or even some of their presents is a tough one. No matter how much you’d like to avoid the glassy eyed stare as they contemplate their pile of gifts, or the wrap-rip that follows as the attack the present pile, it’s a tough thing to take away on their special day. But perhaps not…

On your invitation, ask your party guests to bring any unwrapped, used but outgrown or now under-used sporting equipment to your birthday party. Or make the theme old dolls, stuffed animals, books, games – whatever your child loves and is passionate about. Make two ‘piles’ – one your child’s gifts and the other these gifts for less fortunate children.

After your child’s gifts have been opened, announce that you’ll be donating all the items the kids brought to wherever you’ve chosen to make the donation. Your local Boys and Girls Club, homeless shelter, head start program – whatever you’ve got in your community.

Here’s the key to success. Make the actual donation of these items with your child, shortly after your party. His or her involvement will plant the seed. Talk about the giving and how it makes them feel.

You’ll not only have done a small thing for less fortunate kids, you’ll have started your child not just thinking about but personally taking action to help those in need. Not just hearing about it, but experiencing it, and learning that giving doesn’t have to mean giving up – a very hard thing for children to contemplate.

Do this once, maybe twice, and I’d bet the following year your child will be very willing to give up that pile of  party presents, most of which they play with once and then put on a shelf, and do a more meaningful charitable donation instead.

Charitable gifts are birthday gift ideas for kids that actually have an impact- instead of becoming dust collectors in their room.  And you’ll have truly begun to teach  them the joy of giving.

I’d been meaning to post this since the Holidays, but life got in the way. But when I saw the Quaker Oats company generous offer to donate bowls of oatmeal to the hungy in conjunction with a blog contest about how to help others, sponsored by www.startwithsubstance.com and blog.parentbloggers.com, I knew I had to get in gear and get it done. So, this post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by The Quaker Oats Company.

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Following on the heels of last weeks post came this wonderful comment about the medieval murder mystery party. The moral of the story- Go with the Flow, it’s their party:

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The kids at this party were not quite up to speed for the most part. However, the kids that actually did a little work ahead were right on the ball. In retrospect, I would have either had an hour set aside ahead to explain the game/parts to the kids who didn’t understand or I would have had a pre-party party. Fortunately, I allowed 4 hours so I just explained as necessary and gave them tips to help them along. I could have used more time. [BPGL Note: I often counsel parents to make a phone call to parents requesting their assistance in making sure the party guests have been through the murder mystery party material, stressing that it’s much more fun for everyone when they do. This seems to work very well.]

However, I did have just myself running it and I ended up with 2 extra kids that RVSP’d 2 days before the party and then one other cancelled an hour before so I was trying to play the part of the kid who cancelled and direct. Definitely have more help. [BPGL Note: Absolutely have help. If the kids don’t need it, the extra hands will still have a great time watching them improvise and role-play during the murder mystery game.]

They loved the trial the best and could have done that all night. I would do this again, but I would do something differently to ensure everyone was on the same page. Maybe just a phone call or reminder, but they still had fun.

For the 2 extra kids, I made up parts. One was Stephen and I just had him die at the end of the supper so she didn’t have to sit out so long and she got to jump up at the end (it was a sedative, not poison) and they loved that. Not hard to adjust around that. I didn’t want the added parts to be difficult to learn. The other kid was the “Joint Council Mediator” and her job was to enforce the “sacred scroll” and she was borderless, ie entitled to go wherever she chose. She helped Kinsha keep people in line at the trial. The Sacred Scroll was done in old fashioned writing on parchment paper and signed by King Oscar, King Leopold, King Howard, King Edwin and Queen Lisle’s dead husband. It listed rules for the trial, marriages, etc. to help keep them in line and add interest. Also an easy part because there isn’t a lot of thinking so suitable for a late comer.

For rules, I noted that females and illegitimate children can vie for the throne if the others in line are deemed unsuitable and that this is done by ballot. The kids loved that. Lord Saracen was still king, though. My daughter is an actor (yes, she actually has an agent and some small TV credits plus many plays) and quite bright so she controlled the whole bloody thing and had one united country by the end with an agreement for food supply, succession plan, democracy and rules for fair treatment of animals. Yeah, I know, control freak. The king was merely a figure head to impress other nations. But, the other kids accepted it. I’ll have to try one again with the drama company she belongs to and they’ll give her some stiffer competition.

Overall, yes, they loved it and the whole school was buzzing about this cool grade 7 party and one previously unpopular girl is now accepted - she got to be Kinsha and was very fair and I let her make cool rules like “cake in the face” for the murderer in stead of execution since he wasn’t really dead. At this age, being invited to the cool party can make such a difference - stupid but it worked.
UNQUOTE

I ALWAYS encourage my customers to make any adjustments to the party package that they think will work best with their group of kids, since every group is different. As you can see from these comments, it all works out.

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I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. The 13th birthday party is a tough one. They’re definitely no longer children, but they’re not yet adults either. And that means the 13th birthday party has to be different from what they’ve had in the past, but still age appropriate and sufficiently engaging to snuff out those group behavior dynamics we parents all want to avoid.

Put just about any group of 13 year old together and you get social posturing - in spades. Every action, every word, is designed to impress the group, to raise the social standing or change the existing social order. It’s not a bad thing in and of itself- it’s what they’re supposed to be doing at this age: finding out who they are and where they fit. It just makes for some very awkward moments and can be very discomforting for parents to watch.

Certain situations, like the classroom, are recognized by the kids to be relatively ’safe-zones’ where their actions don’t so much impact their social world. But a party- that’s the ultimate test for these kids.

Structure your young teen birthday party to provide a similarly ’safe-zone’, and the pressure’s off. And for many kids, that’s a relief.

It turns out the Medieval Madness murder-mystery provides just such structure. As a role-playing party, the kids get to be somebody else for the duration - so they’re free to act their parts with minimal social repercussions. It’s all part of the game- it’s not for real.

They find the murder mystery game to be terrific fun, and it keeps them engaged in the game for the entire time, so no loose cannons making problems.

Look no further for the best of all 13th birthday party ideas. It’s fun, it keeps ‘em in line, it’s cheap and easy to host, and gives the kids a chance to try on a new persona for a few hours without social consequences.

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I read with delight the Silicon Valley Moms blog about abandoning my least favorite birthday party custom- the Goodie Bag. I could go on for days about how our society does more to turn our kids into consumers rather than happy people and teaches them that ‘things’ mean happiness- but that’s not exactly on topic.

Birthday Party Games Lady party packages were very consciously created to redefine the ‘fun’ of a birthday party. I created my first one for my eldest daughter in response to her desire for a mystery party like several she’d been too- that cost almost $1000 hosted by a party person. No way was I going to shell out that kind of money. So I wrote it myself. After seeing how much enjoyment the kids had playing the game, interacting with each other and using their imaginations and creativity, I quickly realized that destination parties and other more ostentatious forms of birthday party ‘fun’ were just not necessary.

We parents can’t easily control the desire for ‘things’ that our kids get from school and the society they live in. But we can control what goes on in our own home. And as the parent of an elementary school child or a young teen, we do have control over the annual rite of the birthday party.

It’s always a trade-off between time and money, and today’s family with two working parents and very busy schedules often tips the scale toward money rather than time. But there are an infinite variety of activities that a small time investment can turn into good party fun without a big expenditure. Birthday Party Games Lady party packages aim to do just that.

A successful, fun birthday party is a great gift to your child. It shows your love, it allows your child to share their happiness with friends, and it makes your child feel really special. What do goodie bags contribute, except more expense. Forget ‘em!!

P.S. The same goes for expensive paper plates, napkins and the like- they barely even look at them!

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Birthday gifts for kids have been on my mind ever since I ran across the ECHOage website for ‘giftless gifts’ for kids birthday parties. The concept is great: pool the gift funds to buy a really nice, meaningful gifts for the birthday child from all the party guests AND to support an important cause and teach giving.

But for the Birthday Party Games Lady target of kids age 6 to 13, it seems unnecessarily green to deprive them of getting an invitation in the mail. They LOVE getting mail, because they don’t. Also- many kids on the younger end of the age range don’t have email addresses, and getting parents emails can be a pain if your school directory doesn’t include them. When all the bulk mailers stop sending out paper-wasting catalogs you didn’t ask for, then maybe it’s time to take green to this extreme.

And limiting the available charities to those that accept on-line donations, that are dedicated to children and are on the ECHOage list, seems….limiting. A child may better relate and therefore better understand the giving lesson with respect to something more local like the local animal shelter or the school library. A classmate may suffer from an ailment such as juvenile diabetes that all in attendance would feel good about contributing to. The possibilities are endless, not limited.

In these tough economic times, there are also plenty of people for whom a charitable donation isn’t a reasonable option. And in tough times, it’s just good sense to get the most out of the birthday party gift dollars by pooling them to buy something needed, truly useful or truly wanted. This isn’t an option with the ECHOage program, and I think it should be.

So- after many hours setting it up to run smoothly, Birthday Party Games Lady is pleased to announce a new service for pooling money for kids birthday party gifts: the Good Gift Pool Service. It’s available to anyone wanting to set up a gift pool for their birthday child where invitees parents can contribute by credit card, and the proceeds can be used as you see fit. It includes a downloadable printout to slip inside your mailed invitation telling people how to contribute, and if you wish to use some of the gift pool money for a charitable donation, to advise your invitees of your intentions. Your guests’ donations can even be made anonymous (you won’t know who gave what) to relieve any stress that might be felt by your invitees.

Instead of costing 15% to process your pool contributions and send you the money, it costs only 5%- the amount that the credit card processors charge for every transaction. In other words, it doesn’t make any money, it just covers the costs.

It’s easy, it allows you to teach a valuable lesson about giving if that’s appropriate for you, it gives you unlimited donation choices, and it allows you to make the most of the birthday gift dollars contributed to your pool. No more toys or games that your child doesn’t care about and end up being a waste of someone’s money. No more overload with 20 presents to open. And with a charitable donation, a little less “I” in birthday.

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Make your own Birthday Party Invitations (Thank You notes too)

A lot of my customers ask how I created my invitations, and the answer is ‘very easily’. Printing out your own invitations that you create on your computer is not only inexpensive, it allows you complete freedom to tie your invitation to the theme of your party. Even more importantly, your custom invitation can include that all important ‘hook’ or challenge that gets the kids excited about your birthday party from the get-go, an important component of a super-successful yet controlled party. To learn why this is so important, read my 7 Golden Rules for a Successful Birthday Party.

It’s always a trade between your time or your money: You can save maybe $10 on your invitations with only a minimal investment of your time. Another $10 if you repeat the process for your Thank You notes, with the added bonus that it will be much easier to get your child to actually do the thank you notes on the computer rather than by hand.

Your Invitation does NOT need to look professional: Remember- this is a kids’ party. Your invitation needs to announce your event, get them excited about your party and look nice. It needs to appeal to whatever age kid you’re sending it to and clip art is the secret- catch their eye and draw them in to the rest. You can search for free clip art and find tons of sites, but you won’t find copyrighted characters. If you have Microsoft Word, you have automatic access to Microsoft Clip Art at their Office Online site (View > Toolbars > Drawing, the little box on the toolbar with the “insert clip art” prompt, then choose the “Clip art on Office Online” link).

You could use a photo of your birthday child instead of clip art: One great idea for your invitation is to have the birthday child dress up to show your party theme and use the digital photo as your artwork. The funnier the photo, the more you child hams it up, the better. Word will even allow you to put text over the photo. (After inserting your photo into your Word invitation, left click on the picture to highlight it, then click on Format in your Word toolbar > Picture > Layout, and choose Behind Text. Now you can create a text box for your text and drag it into the picture wherever you want it to appear, making sure to choose ‘no Fill’ and ‘No Line’ for your textbox on your drawing toolbar.)

Limit your Color Printing: Printer ink is darned expensive, so don’t overdo the size of your image. You can even convert your graphic to black and white and use your precious colored ink sparingly in the text instead. This will take two printer runs- one with printing set to black and a second for your colored text (File > Print > Properties > then find where your printer software allows you to convert from printing in color.) See my blog post about saving money on your printer ink.

Make your text look FUN: Word gives you oodles of fonts you can choose from that will make your invitation more appealing to the kids. Some of the most ‘kid-friendly’ ones I like are Comic Sans MS, Jester, Bazooka, Cuckoo, Porky’s, Singboard. (View > Toolbars > Formatting to get the font toolbar on your Word screen, then up at the top you’ll probably see a box that says “Times New Roman” [Word’s default font] with a down arrow you can click to see the various font choices and what they look like.) You can get more free fonts to download by searching for ‘download Word fonts’.

Invitation Size: Unless you have a quarterfold card maker as part of a graphics software package on your computer, you won’t be able to manipulate your clip art and text to turn it upside down as required for a standard folded card. No Matter! Make it a full page– little kids do better with bigger things anyways. Fold it like a letter, and it fits in a standard #10 business size envelope. Another way to go is to use postcard sized cards you can get at Staples (on your Word Toolbar, File and hit the arrow at the bottom to expand the choices > Page SetUp > Paper > Paper Size > Postcard or Envelope #10.)

Decorate your Envelope for maximum effect with the kids: Repeat your clip art on the envelope, scaled down, or add a related but simpler piece of clip art. Use your fun font and make the address nice and big – kids LOVE getting any mail and their own name in big bright letters is even more special.

Make it Different from the Usual: A great way to do this is to include something inside the invitation, perhaps something that they bring to the party. A ticket to get in, a piece of paper with a number on it that perhaps determines which team they’re on or which goodie bag they get, one piece of a puzzle (graphic) that you printed and cut up into odd sized pieces that they then need to piece together when they arrive (a great activity while you wait for the stragglers).

See examples of winning homemade birthday party invitations on the Birthday Party Games Lady website– click on any of the 5 party links and you’ll find the actual invitations I created for my parties about ½ way down each party page. Warning- these invitations often cause kids to beg to come and be included in the fun!

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