Birthday Party Games Lady Blog

Following on the heels of last weeks post came this wonderful comment about the medieval murder mystery party. The moral of the story- Go with the Flow, it’s their party:

QUOTE:
The kids at this party were not quite up to speed for the most part. However, the kids that actually did a little work ahead were right on the ball. In retrospect, I would have either had an hour set aside ahead to explain the game/parts to the kids who didn’t understand or I would have had a pre-party party. Fortunately, I allowed 4 hours so I just explained as necessary and gave them tips to help them along. I could have used more time. [BPGL Note: I often counsel parents to make a phone call to parents requesting their assistance in making sure the party guests have been through the murder mystery party material, stressing that it’s much more fun for everyone when they do. This seems to work very well.]

However, I did have just myself running it and I ended up with 2 extra kids that RVSP’d 2 days before the party and then one other cancelled an hour before so I was trying to play the part of the kid who cancelled and direct. Definitely have more help. [BPGL Note: Absolutely have help. If the kids don’t need it, the extra hands will still have a great time watching them improvise and role-play during the murder mystery game.]

They loved the trial the best and could have done that all night. I would do this again, but I would do something differently to ensure everyone was on the same page. Maybe just a phone call or reminder, but they still had fun.

For the 2 extra kids, I made up parts. One was Stephen and I just had him die at the end of the supper so she didn’t have to sit out so long and she got to jump up at the end (it was a sedative, not poison) and they loved that. Not hard to adjust around that. I didn’t want the added parts to be difficult to learn. The other kid was the “Joint Council Mediator” and her job was to enforce the “sacred scroll” and she was borderless, ie entitled to go wherever she chose. She helped Kinsha keep people in line at the trial. The Sacred Scroll was done in old fashioned writing on parchment paper and signed by King Oscar, King Leopold, King Howard, King Edwin and Queen Lisle’s dead husband. It listed rules for the trial, marriages, etc. to help keep them in line and add interest. Also an easy part because there isn’t a lot of thinking so suitable for a late comer.

For rules, I noted that females and illegitimate children can vie for the throne if the others in line are deemed unsuitable and that this is done by ballot. The kids loved that. Lord Saracen was still king, though. My daughter is an actor (yes, she actually has an agent and some small TV credits plus many plays) and quite bright so she controlled the whole bloody thing and had one united country by the end with an agreement for food supply, succession plan, democracy and rules for fair treatment of animals. Yeah, I know, control freak. The king was merely a figure head to impress other nations. But, the other kids accepted it. I’ll have to try one again with the drama company she belongs to and they’ll give her some stiffer competition.

Overall, yes, they loved it and the whole school was buzzing about this cool grade 7 party and one previously unpopular girl is now accepted - she got to be Kinsha and was very fair and I let her make cool rules like “cake in the face” for the murderer in stead of execution since he wasn’t really dead. At this age, being invited to the cool party can make such a difference - stupid but it worked.
UNQUOTE

I ALWAYS encourage my customers to make any adjustments to the party package that they think will work best with their group of kids, since every group is different. As you can see from these comments, it all works out.

Popularity: 59% [?]

I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. The 13th birthday party is a tough one. They’re definitely no longer children, but they’re not yet adults either. And that means the 13th birthday party has to be different from what they’ve had in the past, but still age appropriate and sufficiently engaging to snuff out those group behavior dynamics we parents all want to avoid.

Put just about any group of 13 year old together and you get social posturing - in spades. Every action, every word, is designed to impress the group, to raise the social standing or change the existing social order. It’s not a bad thing in and of itself- it’s what they’re supposed to be doing at this age: finding out who they are and where they fit. It just makes for some very awkward moments and can be very discomforting for parents to watch.

Certain situations, like the classroom, are recognized by the kids to be relatively ’safe-zones’ where their actions don’t so much impact their social world. But a party- that’s the ultimate test for these kids.

Structure your young teen birthday party to provide a similarly ’safe-zone’, and the pressure’s off. And for many kids, that’s a relief.

It turns out the Medieval Madness murder-mystery provides just such structure. As a role-playing party, the kids get to be somebody else for the duration - so they’re free to act their parts with minimal social repercussions. It’s all part of the game- it’s not for real.

They find the murder mystery game to be terrific fun, and it keeps them engaged in the game for the entire time, so no loose cannons making problems.

Look no further for the best of all 13th birthday party ideas. It’s fun, it keeps ‘em in line, it’s cheap and easy to host, and gives the kids a chance to try on a new persona for a few hours without social consequences.

Popularity: 56% [?]

Pre-teens, and teenagers too, still have wonderful imaginations that they truly enjoy using. Any birthday party game that gives them a structure within which to exercise those brain cells is a guaranteed hit. And they end up entertaining themselves!

Sharon from New Zealand wrote me a note that certainly shows how that creativity flowed during her Medieval Party. Now this was a 16th birthday party, “and most of the guests were 15 and 16, with my son being the youngest at 12, and ‘King Stephen’ and Queen Hedwig’ being the oldest (apart from me!), they are in their late 20’s. It definitely wasn’t ‘too young’ for them, and even the shyest guest took full part- the detailed parts really helped.”

Here’s the rest of what Sharon had to say:

“The party was an all round success. To entertain a bunch of teenagers for that long, with no trouble, was fantastic. They all really got into their parts, they all dressed up fantastically (as you can see from the photos![*]) and it was all so easy to run!

I did have one “group” plan their own murder, and they came to me just before the dinner to ask when they should carry out the murder! The friend who played King Steven did a well rehearsed 10 minute death scene!! And the court session took on a life of it’s own, with someone suggesting the King committed suicide, Princess Sarah claiming she was pregnant to Prime Minister Kinsha and Queen Mathilda claiming that was impossible, as he was having an affair with her! (Much more involved than with 11 year olds!!) And the next day when I was cleaning up, I found a note that said “Kill the king tonight, poison his wine. Signed Princess Celine” but it was in Princess Sarah’s handwriting! At one point in the Court session, they seemed to be ganging up on Prince John, and he “made a run for the door”, but in the end, the “guilty” vote went to Princess Celine. And Sarah got the vote for the crown! (Although the executioner got one vote as well!)

After that we had dessert, and then the kids all sat round talking, laughing, singing, and we even had some almost medieval music! When the parents came to pick the kids up, none of them moved - no one wanted to go home!! It was definitely worth the money, and we will no doubt be back in touch for the next party!! Many, many thanks for setting this up, and making it so easy!”

[*] As I don’t have releases for publishing photos of all or any of the kids in the photos, I’m afraid I can’t share them with you here.

Now kids of this age certainly dig deeper and take things farther than the younger crowd, but there have been reports of bigamy and trigamy (probably not a word- but you know what I’m getting at), additional murders, and even a kidnapping at parties for 11 and 12 year olds. So don’t think that younger kids (but in middle school, not elementary school) can’t handle this Medieval party! They just improvise at a different, simpler level, PROVIDED the group is one that enjoys a challenge.

If you’re looking to entertain your pre-teen or teenage group for several hours at your next birthday party, and looking to preserve your sanity as well, do take a look at the Birthday Party Games Lady Medieval Madness Party.

Popularity: 40% [?]

Birthdays mark the progression through life, and for kids it’s a very rapid progression through the magical years of childhood. They change so fast and learn so much. I’m not really that much different this year than I was last year, but your 6 or 8 or 11 year old is VERY different this year. As parents, we need to stamp these years into our memory because you’ll never have the child you have today tomorrow- he or she will be quite different. The birthday and the birthday party mark all these transitions. And it’s the perfect opportunity to create lasting memories of a time that will be gone forever.

Enough philosophy, but an email I received from a customer got me thinking along these lines. Renee wrote to say:

“I wanted to let you know that we haven’t had the [Medieval Madness] party yet. It is scheduled for October27th and my daughter and her sister have had a blast planning it. My 12 year old is sewing her own medieval dress and her friends are as excited about the upcoming event as she is…one parent has already asked if they can come too. I don’t remember when we have had so much fun planning a birthday party.

Of course I will send an email after the party to let you know how it went but I know it will be fantastic.”

I’m delighted when I hear that parents have done the preparation for one of my party packages WITH their birthday child. Doing things together is another of the childhood joys that slips away as they get older. Getting things ready together makes it a family affair, not just MY birthday party. And it’s yet another memory of a time soon gone by.

All of the birthday party games packages from the Birthday Party Games Lady (except for the Detective Party as it would ruin the ‘mystery’) can involve the birthday child in the preparation, so go for it!! And your party will then really be a Celebration instead of another chore to get through.

Popularity: 31% [?]

Aside from the obvious issue of the appropriateness of the content, many parents are concerned that their pre-teen party kids won’t be able to handle the complexity of the ’set-up’ of a murder mystery party. To make the game interesting and fun, a lot has to go on. Parents are rightfully concerned about overwhelm and non-participation because of confusion.

The Medieval Party Game feedback I received from Mary in Ontario addresses just this issue (and I’ve highlighted her very relevant comments):

I’d love to give feedback. I have a twin boy and girl who turned 11. We have always had their party together except for last year she wanted to do girl things but they both still joined in each others party anyways…this year we were in search of a joint party once again. I also seem to be in the pattern of one year doing a party outside the home and the alternate year at home. Of all the fun and inventive ideas we have for outside the home the kids seem to talk most about the parties we plan at home (sort of a novel idea these days I think!)

I had an adult play King Stephen and they said after 5 minutes that 45 minutes would be too long for this age group. I said let me put the food in the oven and I’ll be back out (we did the reception in the back yard). Well, I could not get them to stop the reception! Once they got into it and the kids who were a little confused began playing, it was hilarious. During the wedding feast Queen Lisle, who had promised to marry 3 different people, kept wondering when her weddings would take place…

Some of the kids did not want to go along with their ‘secrets’ and I just let it flow. Some chose the murderer based on their interpretation of what they saw, and others chose because someone refused to make a deal or marry them. So at whatever level the child was at, they made it work and all had fun, both the shy and the outgoing children.

The feedback from parents was they were overwhelmed at first with the invitation package but so excited, and now a week later the kids are still telling details of the party to friends and family. The kids just make it work, so there was no need to stress if they would understand or get involved.

It is important to be working with a group of kids that enjoys a challenge- what I’ll call fairly high achievers. The outgoing ones will carry the shy ones along into the fun once they start to click.

If this isn’t your group, take a look at my 4 other birthday party games.

Popularity: 23% [?]